In social media, what you see is not what you get

You know those friends who know you so well that you can start conversations right where you left off six months ago without any explanation? That’s how me and my friend Dawn are.

We’ve lamented together over infant teething, toddler defiance, teacher troubles and teenage defiance.  Sipping Dr. Pepper (her) and coffee (me), we’ve sliced, diced and julienned family conflicts, work issues, successful child discipline and failed recipes. I now live three hours away from Dawn and we don’t see each other much, but when I call or email her I can almost begin in the middle of a sentence and know she’ll understand me.

We have history.

Dawn turned 40 last month and mutual friends planned a surprise party. It didn’t take me long to decide to go. I would have driven twice the distance for the look on her face when I stepped out of my hiding place.

As I clicked through the party photostream last night I thought that someone else looking at those photos would not recognize the depth of our friendship. Everyone was smiling. Everyone hugged her. Everyone sang and clapped and refilled her drinks and contributed to the delicious buffet of her favorite foods. What didn’t show in the pictures were how much it meant to her that I’d made the trip, the smiles of recognition we shared when she spotted two bottles of Dr. Pepper on the bar, the memories we laughed over long after we kicked our shoes off, the beautiful thank you card that arrived a few days after I returned home.

When you look at someone’s Facebook wall, twitter stream or blog comments, you’re just seeing the tip of the iceberg. The real power of online networking rumbles just beneath the surface as private messages and emails criss cross and connect, leading to phone calls, coffee meetings, collaborations and partnerships.

The best part is the part you can’t see. It’s people building history.

Photo credit: Creativity + Timothy Hamilton via Flickr