Angry Customers Just Want to be Heard

When I worked in customer service for American Airlines I was asked during holiday time each year to help out in the lost  baggage department. This meant talking to a lot of angry people. Let me tell you, when Aunt Rita calls from Palm Springs because her carefully chosen and lovingly wrapped Christmas gifts are en route to Dallas, she can get pretty feisty.

Saddled with the oh-so-satisfying position of being nothing more than a deliverer of grim tidings – there was nothing I could do from the call center but provide the status of the lost luggage – I would rattle off policy and procedure in a monotone until Aunt Rita hung up in frustration. My uninsightful  young self was delivering some very poor customer service.

But over time I discovered that there was something I could do for those poor souls who had been separated from their clean underwear. I could listen. It turned out to be the next best thing to delivering their lost luggage on the spot. People began to request to speak to me because I was “so helpful.” In reality, I was doing nothing more to retrieve lost luggage than anyone else.

Years later, I discovered that my strategy has a strong psychological foundation. When people are angry, thinking reverts to the amygdala, a primitive portion of our brains that is our emotional center. When the primitive brain takes over in anger, rational thought goes out the window and productive discussion becomes impossible. This is why therapists tell us to take a break from discussions when we feel angry and come back to them when we’re calm.

As I allowed customers to vent they’d start to cool off. Letting their thoughts move back into their more evolved frontal cortex made the fact that their bag would be delivered at 3 a.m. far more palatable. They felt better taken care of and I felt better about my job.

The next time you encounter an angry customer, put down your defenses and just listen. Not only will it better your chances of repairing the relationship, you may just learn something valuable about your customer service and how you can prevent other customers from going primitive on you.